Making Baby-Making Sex Sexy
I’m married to the horniest guy alive. He never has a “headache”, is ALWAYS in the mood and spends at least 75% of his time trying to get me in the sack (or anywhere, really).
That is, unless we’re trying to make a baby. Who knew baby-making sex would be so awkward?
Well, I guess sex for practical purposes is always going to be a little bit different, and it’s not like he didn’t enjoy it, or wasn’t warmed up.
My husband doesn’t need to feel “connected” before getting busy. Straight after a fight, in the middle of one, first thing in the morning, last thing at night – it’s all good for him. But when all’s said and done, it’s always because he wants to have sex.
A wife less bothered about her libido and more excited about her high estrogen, LH surge and a “a follicle measuring 2, yay”, does not a horny husband make.
When I got the phone call from the clinic telling us to go forth and (try to) multiply, my man told me to put on something sexy and he’d be right in. I was surprised how nervous I was.
This is my husband, the guy I’ve been sleeping with for eight years. Yet it felt like there was a third person in the room, whispering: “Oh my gosh, you’re trying to make a baby!”
Getting in sexy time number two was more of a problem. We had tickets for the basketball and hubby drank a few pints, which made me a tad nervous about our chances later.
- Okay, so he wasn’t this bad: Image: ‘No, really – Im fine.’
Back home, I was getting antsy about getting up at 6am to go back to the clinic. We needed sex, and we needed it now.
But oh, aren’t there a million pointless/not-at-all-time-sensitive chores to be done at midnight on Saturday? DVD shelves to be arranged, ottermans to be tidied, dishes to do…. Anything but try make a baby?
By the time he came to bed, I was grumpy and pissed off thinking he wasn’t taking this seriously, which meant that even though he got into it, I almost didn’t care. Who wants to make a baby like that?
The next day my uterus and bloods were looking good. He played basketball, while I worried he wouldn’t have the energy for our match back home.
I turned on my best “horny as hell” act but, after two hours of sweating on the basketball court, the tank was dry.
A lot of water later – and a bit of a cry on my part – and we were back in the game. And it was great, yeah!
But doesn’t it all make you feel so damn guilty? I spent my entire weekend making sure he didn’t exercise/drink too much and trying to silence the tick-tock in my head that I knew was counting down to ovulation.
I shed a few tears about this, apologising for wanting him for one thing only, since despite him unashamedly chasing me for nooky a lot of the time, he doesn’t limit my alcohol or enjoyment to get it.
I’m lucky; he totally understands. He told me I wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought, and there was a big difference between watching how much he was drinking, and taking the beer away. Still, I wasn’t proud. He had been making the effort, drinking lots of water to keep his energy up and doing his best to meet my demands.
And I can’t stop thinking about the mood. I don’t want our child to be conceived during awkward sex, or while one of us is grumpy, or nervous.
But then, as my husband pointed out, babies are rarely conceived in ideal circumstances. At least this child will be wanted, and that goes a long way.
Hopefully, next month will be easier. We’ll know what to expect, and both make a little more effort to get it done in a timely fashion.
If not, hubby better get used to being wanted for his body!
How do you guys keep baby-making sex exciting? I’d love to know!
Bring On The Bump 